There is a Sucker Born Every Minute
Thank God I'm Old
The Colors of My Life I
The Colors of My Life II
One Brick at a Time
Museum Song
I Like Your Style
Bigger Isn't Better
Love Makes Such Fools of Us All
Out There
Come Follow the Band
In Black and White
The Colors of My Life (reprise)
The Prince of Humbug
Join the Circus
So Little Time
THERE IS A SUCKER BORN EVERY MINUTE
There is a sucker born every minute
Each time the second hand sweeps to the top
Like dandelions up they pop,
Their ears so big, their eyes so wide.
And though I feed 'em bonafide baloney
With no truth in it
Why you can bet I'll find some rube to buy my corn.
'Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute,
And I'm referrin' to the minute you were born.
Each blessed hour brings sixty of 'em
Each time the wooden cuckoo shows his face
Another sucker takes his place,
And plunks his quarter on the line
To buy my brand of genuine malarky.
God bless and love 'em!
But don't feel sad or hoppin' mad or cause a scene
'Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute,
But M'am you mighta been the minute in between.
There is a sucker born every minute
Each time the second hand sweeps to the top
Like dandelions up they pop,
Their ears so big, their eyes so wide.
And though my tale is bonafide baloney,
Just let me spin it,
And ain't no man who can resist me wait and see
'Cause there's a sure-as-shooting sucker born a minute,
And friends the biggest one excluding none is me!
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THANK GOD I'M OLD
Joyce Heth:
When you see the shape the world is in
When the way it is ain't what it's been
When folks just care for gold,
Thank God, I'm old
When you take a gander at the news
When you hear the language people use
When no sweet songs are sung
I don't wanna be young
Daddy time he
Doesn't fret me
Should he spy me
That don't upset me
Let him eye me
Come and get me
That's fine by me
Age don't worry me
When you see the way folks misbehave
When it's only good times that they crave
When kids are much too bold
Thank God, I'm old
When there ain't no He-Men left alive
When they tell you three men out of five
End up locked up or hung
I don't wanna be young.
Gonna get me dressed and powdered down
Call myself a hack and go to town
See every shady street
These feet once strolled.
Then I'm gonna slip back on the shelf
Have myself a nip and tell myself
Though my back buckles and bends
My hair's got silvery ends
When I see all of my friends
Laid out and cold
Thank God, I'm Old!
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THE COLORS OF MY LIFE (I)
The colors of my life
Are bountiful and bold,
The purple glow of indigo,
The gleam of green and gold.
The splendor of the sunrise,
The dazzle of a flame,
The glory of a rainbow,
I'd put 'em all to shame.
No quiet browns and grays,
I'll take my days instead
And fill them till they overflow
With rose and cherry red!
And should this sunlit world
Grow dark one day,
The colors of my life
Will leave a shining light
To show the way...
No quiet browns and grays,
I'll take my days instead
And fill them till they overflow
With rose and cherry red!
And should this sunlit world
Grow dark one day,
The colors of my life
Will leave a shining light
To show the way...
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THE COLORS OF MY LIFE (2)
Spoken:
It’s your own fault Charity Barnum
If you only asked a few logical questions
Before you married him
You would have put a healthy distance
Between yourself and a fella
Who wants to give the whole words a paint job
Which I’m not so sure it needs
Sung:
The colors of my life
Are softer than a breeze.
The silver gray of eiderdown,
The dappled green of trees.
The amber of a wheat field,
The hazel of a seed,
The crystal of a raindrop,
Are all I'll ever need.
Your reds are much too bold,
In gold I find no worth.
I'll fill my days with sage and brown
The colors of the earth,
And if from by my side
My love should roam,
The colors of my life
Will shine a quiet light
To lead him home.
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ONE BRICK AT A TIME
Charity:
The Lord gave each and everyone
The spunk to do what can't be done
The brawn, the brain, the courage and the heart
The strength to bend the strongest bar
The will to reach the farthest star
It's just a case of learning how to start.
Chorus:
To build a tower up so high to a cloud you'll anchor
Build it one tiny brick at a time
Bucks multiply till a bum's a banker
Just begin with a thin silver dime
That empty field it can yield miles and miles of flowers
You don't need no magic powers
Just a seed and showers
From the floor to the sky
You can soar if you're wise enough to climb
One brick at a time
Men: To build a ship that's built to last
Charity: you lay the keel than raise the mast
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MUSEUM SONG
Spoken:
Everything about my museum was spectacular,
including the price: one dollar.
Now that may seem a bit steep, but it was worth
it. Look at what I gave 'em:
Sung:
Quite a lotta
Roman terra cotta
Livin' lava from the flanks of Etna
Statuary
Ride a dromedary
See the Temple tumble and the Red Sea part.
McNamara's band
The fattest lady in the land
A pickled prehistoric hand
A strand of Pocahontas' hair
Crow and Sioux
Who're going to
Be showing you
Some rowing through
A model of the rapids on the Delaware.
Armadillas
Clever caterpillas
Reproductions of the Cyclops' ret'na
Crystal blowing
Automatic sewing
Venus on a shell and other works of art.
Educated fleas
A tribe of Aborigines
Two ladies joined across the knees
A Mona Lisa made of ice
Hottentots
We've gotten in
Forgotten spots
A cotton gin
A night with Lot in Sodom
Better see that twice!
One iguana
Snakes and other fauna
Got no bearded lady but we're get'na
When you duck out
Take another buck out
Run around the block And see a
Run around the block and see a
Run around the block and see a
new show start.
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I LIKE YOUR STYLE
Barnum:
We're out of step
We disagree
What's right for you Is wrong for me
Together we're apart a country mile
But I like your style
I like your style
Charity:
We're out of step
We disagree
What's right for you is wrong for me
When I propose
Then you protest
What's my delight
You just detest
Too sweet a fight to ever reconcile
Barnum: Too sweet a fight to ever reconcile
Charity: But I like your style
Barnum: I like your style
Charity:
I like your style
No shouts or quarrels
No blows or tears
Both:
One simple fuss
To dissect and discuss
For the next
One hundred years
Charity: Each blessed day
Barnum: Each blessed day
Charity: We sweetly fill
Barnum: We sweetly fill
Charity: With no you won't
Barnum: With no you won't
Charity: And yes I will
Barnum: And yes I will
Charity: You wonder how we made it down the aisle
Barnum: You wonder how we made it down the aisle
Charity: Well I liked your style
Barnum: I liked your style
Charity: I liked your style
(High Spirited Dance)
Charity: Each blessed day
Barnum: Each blessed day
Charity: We sweetly fill
Barnum: We sweetly fill
Charity: With no you won't
Barnum: With no you won't
Charity: And yes I will
Barnum: And yes I will
Charity: You wonder how we made it down the aisle
Barnum: You wonder how we made it down the aisle
Charity: Well I liked your style
Barnum: I liked your style
Charity: I liked your style
Barnum: I liked your style
Charity: I liked your style
Both: I liked your style,
Style,
Style!
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BIGGER ISN'T BETTER
Taller isn't braver
Stronger isn't always wise
Smaller isn't necessarily the lesser
Guts can come in any size
Lady luck can favor
Just a little shaver
Over one who's 6-foot-3
Brains in any tussle
Mop the floor with muscle
Bet your life I'm glad I'm me
(Chorus:)
Bigger isn't keener
Larger isn't bolder
Higher might be low inside
When you need to lean upon a friendly shoulder
Narrow's just as good as wide
See the mighty lion sittin there and crying bitten by a tiny flea
Mammoth was colossal what's he now? A fossil!
Bet your life I'm glad I'm me
What strong and hope they lag along
Get brains and heart
That handsome hunk might be a Lilliputian medley,
Proven consequently...
Though he shows his shoulders twice as big as boulders
If his brain's a tiny pea
When your in a pickle
He ain't worth a nickel
Bet your life I'm...Bet your life I'm glad I'm me
(Spoken)
Ladies and Gentlemen together for the first time
Mister PT Barnum's two star attractions
General Top Dog and Jumbo!
That's some elephant!
Aw, isn't the little guy cute?
Let me see, let me see!
BRANDON, get back here!
I'm OK Mom!
(Back to Singing)
The dinosaur's no more, the dear old dodo's dead,
But right there on that floor some ants will still be treadin after Armageddon
Bet there isn't a hero, weight is less than zero
Height ain't worth a hoot in hell
Show me any hunk of man to match the spunk of
Tiny Tim or Little Nell
Giants look so awesome folks are scared to cross em'
None the less I guarantee
Small as Yankee Doodle if he's in the moodle beat the whole
Caboodle using just his noodle...
Bet your life I'm glad I'm ME!!!
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LOVE MAKES SUCH FOOLS OF US ALL
Jenny Lind:
Botrom all grans,
U tom all tid,
Charlikens ler och lockar.
Charlekens vind,
Branner som eld,
Spranger den hook-sta mur.
Botrom all grans,
U tom all tid,
Charlekens dorskop oss fur
Love knows no rules,
Love has no time,
Love laughs at rhyme and reason,
Sweeping the stage,
Mad or sublime,
Knowing no age or season.
Wise men and fools,
Playing love's game,
Bend to the same sweet reason.
Love's silver song,
Swift as a flame,
Bends to the strongest wall.
Love knows no rules,
Love has no time,
Love makes such fools of us all.
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OUT THERE
Barnum:
Staying home
Living day by day
May be safe
But it can be duller
Seein’ things only black and gray
When the world’s alive with color
Doin’ just as your neighbors do
May be wise but it ain’t so clever
Every man has a dream or two
Let ‘em go and they’re gone forever
Out there somewhere just out of sight
There’s a world that’s blazing with light
Ain’t each man alive got the right
To stray just a might from the straight and narrow
Shoot through the night like a flaming arrow
Turning back should the highway bend
Turning down every chance you’re given
Takes the risk out of life good friend
How the hell can you call that livin'
Stayin’ put in a pumpkin shell
Is a pretty good depressing habit
There’s a ring on the carousel
And it’s yours if you’ll only grab it
Out there somewhere just down the line
Lies a world of glory and shine
One square foot there’s gotta be mine
Once in his life every man decides
Once when he stands where the road divides
Once on a hill as the morning grows
Once if he willed he could see those…
Fires glow
Flags streaming
Spires grow
Towers gleaming
In a land where the dawn is clear
In a sky where the sun's forever
On a plain where it’s spring all year
And the dark of the night is never…
Somewhere out there just out of sight
In that world that’s shining with light
Ain’t each man alive got the right
Once in his life to forget the past
Once in his life to behold at last
With his own two eyes
What
Lies
Out
There!!
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COME FOLLOW THE BAND
Come follow the band
Wherever it's at
Let both of your feet, beat, time to the drum
And feel your heart go rat 'a' tat tat
A flag in your hand
A plume in your hat
Petallions of brass, pass, and catch the light
Is there a sight that's sweeter then that?
See the pretty lady toss that baton high ain't she cute as a daisy
Watch the fellow with the big bass drum go by
Ain't ya glad that you stayed
Hear the trombone play the Oompah pah
Ain't it drivin' you crazy
Don't ya be so darn lazy
Better hurry 'n' join that big parade
Up out of your seat
Down off of the stand
Step out to the sweet beat the bugle plays
A sound that you'll remember all your days
And when you see the leader proudly raise his hand
Just follow the band
Hear the trumpet blast
And the hornet blare
Hear the boom of the bass
And the rattle of the snare
With the sweetest burst of melody I know
It's the piccolo
Hear the silver tone of the xylophone
Hear the glide ansd the bellow of the slide trombone
With a burst of crystal listen to it peal
It's the glockenspiel
With a most majestic manner you'll remember all your life
Come xylophone, come saxophone, come susiphone, come fife
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BLACK AND WHITE
Charity:
May the 7th, 1851
Day of days for Bridgeport's favorite son
Living whales he sent to Hades
Likewise Swedish singing ladies
And the local clockworks he will run
Gone those wooly schemes that filled his head
Farewell Kelly green and cherry red
No more, step right up and see him
Barnum's closed his last museum
And he's gonna live his life instead
Singer: Black and white
The future's rosy living black and white
Keep both feet on the ground
Don't let those day dreams spin your round
See things the way they are
You're gonna tumble if you fly too far
Stay low and hold on tight
Living black and white
Charity: He could run the clockworks Barnum found
In two months he'd run it in the ground
Purchased then 500 shovels
Said men mustn't live in huddles
And a new utopia I will found
Planed a very modern model town
Elevated roads to stroll around
Grew so high it made you groggy
Built on land a trifle soggy
So as it rose up it started down (echo: down down down down)
Singer: Black and white
He built a city that was black and white
It took no end of spunk
And looked quite splendid as it sunk
Here comes another lurch
There goes the depot and the Baptist church
As place slipped out of sight
They were black and white
So long, ta ta goodnight
Bye bye black and white
Oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh ooh oh oh
Oh yeah
Chorus: Heard about your city what a shame
But the truth is politics' your game
Kissing babies making speeches
Posing with the local beeches
Fun, respect, nobility and fame
Charity: You could be an alder man, no wait
Congressman I mean U.S not state
Oh that's easy pickin's
Oh what the dickens (echo: senator)
Charity and Chorus: Why not hang a presidential slate
Singer: Black and white
He's playing politics in black and white
Cold truth and good hard facts
Give all that razzmatazz the axe
No bunting in the streets
You'll talk of budget cuts and ballot sheets
Statistics day and night
Running black and white
Barnum: Black and white
I'm runnin' politics in black and white
Cold truth and good hard facts
Give all that razzmatazz the axe
No bunting in the streets
I talk of budget cuts and ballot sheets
Statistics day and night…
(Spoken) Cherry, I'm losing 'em.
You gotta let me bring some color into this campaign or they'll beat me
Charity (Spoken): Very well, Taylor. Go ahead!
Chorus: Black and white
He's had his fill of living black and white
So long ta ta good night
Bye bye bye bye black and
White!!
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THE COLORS OF MY LIFE (REPRISE)
Charity: The colors of my life
Barnum: The colors of my life
Charity: Are softer than a breeze
Barnum: Are bountiful and bold
Barnum: The purple glow of indigo
Charity: The silver gray of eiderdown
Barnum: The gleam of green and gold
Charity: The dappled green of trees
Barnum: The splendor of a sunrise
Charity: The amber of a wheat field
Barnum: The dazzle of a flame
Charity: The hazel of a seed
Barnum: The glory of a rainbow
Charity: The crystal of a raindrop
Barnum: I'd put ‘em all to shame
Charity: Are all I'll ever need
Barnum: No quiet browns and grays
Charity: Your reds are much too bold
Barnum: I'll take my days instead
Charity: In gold I find no worth
Barnum: And fill them till they overflow
Charity: I'll fill my days with sage and brown
Barnum: With rose and cherry red
Charity: The colors of the earth
Barnum: And if from by my side my love should roam
Charity: The colors of my life
Will shine a quiet light
To lead him home
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THE PRINCE OF HUMBUG
The Prince of Humbug.
Balderdash.
Fiddle, Faddle, Drivel, Posh
Twiddle, Twaddle, Blather, Bosh.
Bilge and dodge and double-dutch
And Flim-Flam I am!
The King of Hogwash.
Tommyrot.
Jibber, Jabber, Blabber, Bluff
Hocus-Pocus, Gabble, Guff.
Scam and sham and just a touch
Of white lie am I.
Duke of tripe and idle chat.
Earl of oil, Lord of flat.
Emperor of rigmarole.
That I am, Bless my soul.
The Prince of Humbug.
Poppycock.
Piffle, waffle, panner junk
Hokum, Hooey, chatter, bunk.
Wile and guile and trumpery.
That's me.
In a world of sting and shock
This moment we spend.
Down a road of ridge and rot
Toward Lord knows what end.
Through a night as dark as space and cold as the sea.
Someone's got to make it right.
Shoot a rocket, Shine a light.
Tell you who the someone's gonna be!
The Prince of Humbug.
Tongue-in-cheek.
Shilly, Shally, pull the wool,
Blarney, bogus, cock and bull.
Hoax and prank and hanky-pank
And some skullduggery.
I am! And damn, I'll always be!
Yeah!
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JOIN THE CIRCUS
When the pill the doctor gave you
turns your cold to the grippe.
When a stitch to save nine others
comes apart with a rip.
When the rats invade your attic
and start leaving your ship.
Follow my tip, come away on a trip.
Just join the circus like you wanted to,
when you were a kid.
Climb aboard before it moves on
and you’ll thank your lucky stars you did.
Go to bed in Minneapolis, wake up in PA.
Pack your roll, your brush and your comb again,
Ready to roll again, ready to stray.
Bless your soul; you’ll never go home again,
When the circus comes your way.
When you’ve patches in your trousers
and a hole in your purse.
When your nine to five it boarding
and your five to nine’s worse.
When you sneeze instead of bless you,
you get jeers and a curse.
Don’t call a hearse, while you still got a cherce.
Just join the circus like you meant to do,
when you were so high.
Pitch your troubles under a tent
and you’re bound to loose ‘em by and by.
Say so long to fair Schenectady, greet sweet Santa Fe.
Toss your hat and cane in a sack again,
Shoulder your pack and then hitch up the shay.
Kiss the cat and never look back again,
When the circus comes your way.
When the lady you’ve been courtin’
weds your brother instead.
When he sooner gives you thirty days
on water and bread.
When your bank accounts a million,
but its all in the red.
Don’t loose your head, pin this note to the bed.
Ive joined the circus like I wanted to,
when I was a kid.
Climbed aboard before it moved on
and you bet your life im glad I did.
Went to bed in Minneapolis, woke up in PA.
Packed my roll, my brush and my comb again,
Ready to roll again, ready to stray.
Bless my soul; I’ll never go home again,
When the circus comes your way.
See that tent pole slowly start to rise,
Circus – circus.
Just to say the word electrifies,
Circus – circus.
Watch that tiger shaking hands like a pup there,
That lady dancin’ on a wire a million mile up there.
That string of painted cars down Railroad Avenue,
Circus – circus.
Two pink paste boards say you’re going to,
Circus – circus.
Share the glad time and the woe with us,
Pack you’re trunk and join the show with us.
Roll from Maine to Kokomo with us,
Mister Barnum say you’ll go with us.
I’ve joined the circus like I wanted to,
when I was a kid.
Climbed aboard before it moved on
and you bet your life im glad I did.
Went to bed in Minneapolis, woke up in PA.
Packed my roll, my brush and my comb again,
Ready to roll again, show me the way
Bless my soul; I’ll never go home again,
From the day you join the circus!
Be proud to join the circus!
Step right this way and join the circus!
Just stick a banner in your hand – and,
Join the circus like you wanted to,
Like you always wanted to run – a – way!
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SO LITTLE TIME (bonus track US album)
So little time to tell
So many things I meant to
Where did the summer go?
With still so much to say
Songs that I meant to sing you
Praises and pearls to fling you
Roses that I forgot to bring you.
I still long to hold you,
Embrace you, enfold you,
But somehow I never ever told you.
Where did it go, this life time,
Hurrying by, how did it fly away leaving
So little time to tell you
So many things I always meant to say.
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